The 007 Re-Read Project: Nobody Lives Forever by John Gardner

Bond bashes his way through the 1980s in Gardner's fifth continuation novel! Picking up soon after the end of the series' previous entry,  this adventure is propelled by the consequences of one aspect of that novel's climax. I found that novel a rather dull affair, unfortunately, but this one has a setup so interesting that it's bound to be an improvement, right? Read on to find out! As always, I won't blow the entire thing, but there are

 

SPOILERS AHEAD!

 

While Bond is on a hard-earned holiday,  several suspicious deaths have his spy-sense tingling. He continues his road trip nevertheless, the final aim of which is to pick up his treasured maid May, who has been convalescing at an elite clinic in Switzerland. Miss Moneypenny, on holiday herself, has taken it upon herself to visit her, and the pair are getting along famously. Bond's plans are derailed when MI6 informs him that his enemy Tamil Rahani, last seen at the end of Role of Honor, has put a rather sizeable price on his head. Injured during his escape, the current head of SPECTRE is at death's door, and his dying wish is to have Bond's head literally delivered to him on a silver platter. To make matters even worse, one of the groups vying for the prize has kidnapped May and Moneypenny! Bond has help from a pair of intriguing new allies, the Principessa Sukie Tempesta and Nannie Norrich, but can either of them be trusted?  

While not Gardner's strongest 007 novel, this is a massive improvement over his previous effort. The concept of one of Bond's numerous enemies simply putting a price on his head is so obvious that it seems astonishing in retrospect that it took so long for someone to do it. It's also refreshing to have a Bond adventure with no world-shaking stakes, just a personal vendetta between Bond and one of his enemies. Things unfold at a good pace to keep things interesting, and there are enough double-crosses to add that extra dash of intrigue. The framework allows for some fun action scenes, and an underwater infiltration that is rather evocative of the late-night swim in Live and Let Die. The method devised for Bond's demise is appropriately dramatic, and the climax is crazy and chaotic in all the right ways. Bond ordering scrambled eggs and booze as his last request shortly before his execution is a scream! I enjoyed having Bond's new Bentley return, and the collapsible tactical baton is a nice addition to his arsenal.

In the negative column, May and Moneypenny are only plot devices. With them figuring into the main plot, I was hopeful that we'd get some good character interactions, but they spend most of the novel being spoken about, but not seen, and are completely wasted. There are a pair of scenes of Bond groping his new female acquaintances to search for hidden weapons that just feel rather icky. It makes sense for him to try to assure himself that these supposed new allies he's unsure of trusting aren't packing any nasty surprises to use against him, but the way it's presented is less than stellar. One scene gives us one of the more ludicrous attempts to kill Bond. Bond quotes The Wizard of Oz at one point, which wouldn't faze the audience in a Moore or Brosnan Bond film, but it comes off as quite odd and out of character here. Gardner gamely tries to milk suspense and drama from one of the big double-crosses, but we've spent so little time with the character in question that it falls flat. He also kills off a well-liked character from the Fleming days in an offhand comment, something I'm glad a future Bond writer ignored. 

Rahani remains as dull as ever, and I was glad his end was definitive enough that there is no possibility of him ever returning. SPECTRE must have fallen on hard times indeed to let such a bland, generic character rise to the top position. Gardner really seems to have struggled to create memorable villains beyond his first two Bond novels, though I remember some of the later ones being big improvements. I don't remember anything at all about the next two novels, but hopefully we're over the dull patch now.

And like many who have the good fortune to hail from somewhere other than the bowels of the bible belt, Gardner doesn't know how to properly spell or use "y'all." I don't hold it against him. 

 

Notable Quotes:

Bond always mistrusted people of short stature, knowing their tendency to over-compensate with ruthless pushiness, as though it were necessary to prove themselves. (Sheesh!) 

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 Then he saw his adversary. It was something he'd come across only in zoos, and never one as big. Hunched on top of the shower head crouched a giant vampire bat, its evil eyes bright above the razor-toothed mouth, its wings beginning to spread in another attack. (😂)

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There was a Saab 900 Turbo, a car he knew well, which had just been returned. (Silver Beast reference! I always wondered why Gardner abandoned it so quickly.)

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"The slightest move and I'll blow a hole in you so big that even the maggots will need maps. Understand?"

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SPECTRE had made themselves into a sitting target, which only he could smash.  

 

This is a fun, entertaining novel, and can easily be read without first tackling the previous one. It's not on the level of Gardner's debut Bond novel, but Nobody Lives Forever is a pretty satisfying read. I recommend it if you've enjoyed any of Gardner's other Bonds, and feel in the mood for more. That's it for this time, but I'll be back soon with a look at No Deals, Mr. Bond! 

For now, dig this awesome fan-made cover, done in the style of the old Great Pan paperbacks! I've seen covers in this style for a few non-Fleming stories, but I don't know the original source.